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Little Kernel


All creatures great and small.

things people said

computer stupidities

random acts of kindness foundation

100 things about other people

the monologues of fictional people

conversations about famous people



PG-13 Rating Hobos, Fast food, Guilt Entertainment Value: Three Popcorn Pieces
Sequel ExperienceAs Lucy** walked home, her cell phone dropped from her bag. She retraced her steps and tried calling it to no avail. Finally, her friend Ernie** got a phone call at 6 a.m. from Lucy's cell, with copious heavy breathing. Ernie received another call. "I've never used a phone before! I'm jus' hangin' out at Carl's Jr.!" yelled the deranged voice on the other end. Ernie headed out in search of a vagrant with the phone and bribed the phone back. He called Lucy: "Good news is I have your phone. Bad news is it's been in the hands of a bum all night." Also good news was that the bum only made one call and sent one text message. Bad news was the bum called Dan**, whom Lucy hadn't spoken with since his breakup with Jan** over her infidelity the year before. The bum gave Dan over 3 minutes of heavy breathing in Lucy's name, and forwarded him a misdirected text message reading, "I blame you!"


Strange but true stories of events and exchanges with ordinary people. While stage names are used, these events were actually witnessed.