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Little Kernel


All creatures great and small.

things people said

computer stupidities

random acts of kindness foundation

100 things about other people

the monologues of fictional people

conversations about famous people


An Affair to Remember

Mature Audiences Infidelity, Venereal DiseaseEntertainment Value: Coveted Four Popcorn Rating
Romance ExperienceJan** had been dating Dan** for four years during college. During Jan's senior year, she began cheating with Biff**, another student. Dan discovered her infidelity through anonymous tipsters, who e-mailed him Jan's online photos of she and Biff kissing. However, Dan decided to forgive her. The affair continued, with undeniable proof. On Biff's graduation day, he and his extended family were gathered in his apartment. Dressed in his cap and gown, he played back his answering machine messages at full volume. A message from Dan**, Jan's boyfriend, screamed out into the room: "Do you want to tell me why my genitals are covered in bumps? Stop screwing my girlfriend!" Biff eventually recovered his dignity, which is more than we can say for Dan, his genitals, and his relationship with Jan.



The Big Fix

Restricted Audience Federal Crimes, Technological Thrills Entertainment Value: Coveted Four Popcorn Pieces
Low Budget ExperienceHead of the tech department for a local business, Pam** became known for her long strolls around the office with her coffee mug more than for her technical prowess. One day, she was asked to fix several defunct computers containing highly important research for the firm. After several weeks, managers asked her when the machines would be ready. "There's a little problem," Pam replied. "They've been seized by the F.B.I. as evidence." Apparently, Pam took the computers to a repair shop in a seedier side of Oakland, for a rock-bottom low price. Of course, it's easy to have a sale when you're a front business in a money laundering operation. After months of paperwork, the computers were released by the government, and not long after, Pam was released by the company.


Strange but true stories of events and exchanges with ordinary people. While stage names are used, these events were actually witnessed.