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Little Kernel


All creatures great and small.


An Affair to Remember

Mature Audiences Infidelity, Venereal DiseaseEntertainment Value: Coveted Four Popcorn Rating
Romance ExperienceJan** had been dating Dan** for four years during college. During Jan's senior year, she began cheating with Biff**, another student. Dan discovered her infidelity through anonymous tipsters, who e-mailed him Jan's online photos of she and Biff kissing. However, Dan decided to forgive her. The affair continued, with undeniable proof. On Biff's graduation day, he and his extended family were gathered in his apartment. Dressed in his cap and gown, he played back his answering machine messages at full volume. A message from Dan**, Jan's boyfriend, screamed out into the room: "Do you want to tell me why my genitals are covered in bumps? Stop screwing my girlfriend!" Biff eventually recovered his dignity, which is more than we can say for Dan, his genitals, and his relationship with Jan.



Anonymous tammy said...

Dan got what he deserved.

3:01 AM  
Anonymous paco said...

his parents must be so proud of him. he needs to get a cell phone.

11:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Looks like Dan was really bumped after all. "Bump" [transitive verb] = to turn away a passenger with a reserved seat because the flight has been overbooked.

2:03 PM  
Blogger ;33t said...

uh... how do you ignore photo evidence? "it wasn't me" ::shows photo:: "did i mention my twin?"

7:27 PM  
Blogger little kernel said...

tammy: I think you might be right!

paco: What he needs is a muzzle!

anonymous: Looks like he got bumped more way than one, eh?

piattrocks: Seriously! People will believe what they want to!

8:28 PM  
Blogger willowess said...

Hello, Little Kernel. Your site rocks! Thank you for leaving a comment on mine!
i'm 25 and from Nova Scotia, currently living in Ontario canada. Take care, keep up the great work!

11:38 PM  
Anonymous weirsdo said...

A poignant drama, just like its namesake.
Thanks for stopping by The Pansi Files.

4:16 AM  
Blogger Chris said...

thats..a burn beyond burns

6:45 AM  
Blogger Moe said...

Jan is a mongrel slut, and should get a bullet in her head. Dan is equally as vile, but he should be humiliated in front of his entire family and town, then hanged or beheaded, to set an example for all who love to "feel good" and believe their bodies are theirs to do with as they please.

Nothing in life is free.

7:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am surprised that everyone would be against Dan. He is not the one that spread the horrible bumps.
Down with Biff, he is the one that got what he deserved.

11:04 AM  
Blogger Moe said...

Good point, anonymous. I all hut forgot about Biff.

Off with all their heathenous heads!!

But not before Biff is exposed as the backstabbing, intrusive, homewrecking filthmongering beast that he is, of course.

12:32 PM  
Blogger little kernel said...

willowess: Thanks for the compliment, our neighbor up North!

weirsdo: Yes, but even Cary Grant might not have been able to class up this version!

chris: You said it, in every sense!

moe: Perhaps they are hedonistic, but I'm glad you don't guard the gates to Heaven. You'd make St. Peter look like an old softie!

anonymous: Thanks for being a voice of moderation!

1:40 PM  
Blogger Matt Heller said...

It's a rare romantic comedy that can tug on the heartstrings and address the complications of venereal disease, all with a feel-good (a little itchy, but good) ending.

Thanks, Little Kernel!

3:08 PM  
Blogger Nausiphanes said...

Good job, little kernel, Keep it up!
And thanks for your post on Heaven and Hell

5:52 PM  
Blogger little kernel said...

matt heller: Thanks, Matt! People's real life stories always have interesting turn-outs. Hopefully, it left you itching for more! (We post new stories about people we know every day or so--come on back!)

nausiphanes: Thanks! We're a little less racy than you are, but we both blog about people, in various states of dress!

6:51 PM  
Blogger Inside Man said...

Looks like Dan graduated with the gift that keeps on giving. That's a god smack because he should have left her alone after the upteenth she cheated on him. Love hurts........

1:03 PM  
Blogger little kernel said...

kg: Well said! Some gifts are best left wrapped up!

1:16 PM  
Anonymous baltiking said...

I like your blog because it's funny and true and short. Easy reading when I need a break from work. I WORK AT A HARDWARE STORE!!!!!

2:40 PM  
Blogger suuperdoperainwoman said...

how did you get to my blog? And why did you comment on that particular one? just wondering because I thought that one was one of the oddest one`s I`ve put up! i do like your blog, it`s really funny. Love the type of humor!!!

3:58 PM  
Blogger little kernel said...

baltiking: Thanks for the compliment, and come back often! We here at P&P love the hardware biz!

suuperdoperainwoman: Chance brought me there, and in my eye, those were the most captivating! Thanks for visiting, and come back soon! We post new true stories about every day or so!

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Strange but true stories of events and exchanges with ordinary people. While stage names are used, these events were actually witnessed.