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Little Kernel


All creatures great and small.


Mystic Pizza

Parental Guidance Suggested Health code violation, PandemoniumEntertainment Value: Coveted Four Popcorn Piece Rating
Horror Experience!Marvin** and Ellen** went on a date at a local pizza joint that performs plays in its basement. After ordering and taking their seats, they waited in the audience for the play to begin. Instead, the director took center stage and said, "A large rat ran across the stage during last night's performance, and we worked it into the plot, but well, one just threatened an actress backstage. She's refused to go on, so we'll have to cancel tonight's performance. But feel free to stay and eat your pizza." Just then, Wanda and Ellen's pizza order was out, and shortly thereafter, they were too.


Anonymous Luanne said...

I would leave too! That actress is a real weinie!

9:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Was it a German pizza place, the Ratskiller? The show must go on, regardless, because the tail must be told [about]. With a large rat, you usually order a large pizza topped with tomato and mouserella cheese.

11:39 PM  
Blogger little kernel said...

luanne: Would you have stayed and performed opposite the rat?

anonymous: Thanks for inspiring me to find out what the Rathskeller is! Thanks for the food for thought (though I'm not sure I'll take you up on the rat and cheese pizza!).

1:02 AM  
Blogger Kleyr said...

heyaz!tnxs 4 visitin' mah blog! ur's rocks too!


whats ur nme?send to : kleyr052788@yahoo.com

7:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rat and mouse, thank you, if you please.

10:24 AM  
Blogger little kernel said...

curly sue: Thanks for the compliment! My name's Little Kernel, and you can e-mail me by clicking the link under "Director" on the main page.

anonymous: Are you ordering? We serve popcorn and people here, not rats nor mice!

1:21 PM  
Blogger erika said...

thanks for stopping by my blog and letting me know how to put in links! and I really like yours, there are some great stories out there, I have really enjoyed reading them! Its amazing that they are all true

12:19 PM  
Blogger little kernel said...

erika: Thanks! Real people and the things they do are the best entertainment I've ever had! If you ever need any other tech tips, just let me know.

2:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just because a rat or a mouse is different from you, that is no reason to discriminate against serving them.

6:17 PM  
Blogger Chris said...

thats too funny, it takes a genious to turn something that horrible ina resturaunt and try to make it funny

9:07 AM  
Blogger little kernel said...

anonymous: Well, perhaps the customers were concerned the rat would help himself!

chris: Without a sense of humor, life becomes fairly depressing (and instances like this kind of unnerving)! Almost anything in life is amusing if you look at it from the right angle. Thanks again for the feedback!

11:29 AM  
Anonymous Otis said...

This is what one might refer to (appropriately, in this case) as the old bait and switch: freak the audience out with a rat tale, and they'll never notice that Marvin walked out as Wanda. (Perhaps this entry ought to have been called "Tootsie.")

7:13 PM  
Blogger little kernel said...

otis: You're the only one who caught that error! Mixed up my pseudonyms there! Perhaps a Freudian slip, since it makes Ellen just a little queerer. ;)

1:44 AM  
Anonymous Otis said...

They used to call me Eagle Eye in my flyboy days, during the war. Now that eye mostly sits around reading (and editing) websites. :)

11:32 AM  
Blogger little kernel said...

otis: Flyboy as in aviation, or the male counterparts to the flygirls on "In Living Color"? Also, what does your other eye do?

1:51 PM  

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Strange but true stories of events and exchanges with ordinary people. While stage names are used, these events were actually witnessed.